The Rest

Now Back to Sex

I realize I deviated slightly from the main topic. But, let’s be realistic for a moment. Long term relationships require intimacy for a healthy sex life. So, I thought I would spend a moment or two on communication and problem solving. Maybe it was valuable, maybe not. I’m taking my chances on that one. Now, I shall return to the main focus.

How to Have Sex as Often as You Really Want It

Actions speak louder than words – don’t you think? And, now after reading this book, you have become consciously aware of how powerful your actions really are. Hopefully, now you have a better idea of what to do, and what to avoid doing when you’re really wanting some action. The best possible advice I could give you is to keep her in mind.

It’s All About the Build-Up

The follow through helps, too. But, for the most part, it’s a good idea to build sexual excitement early. If you both get ready together, tell her how nice she looks – remind her how sexy she is.  Contact her throughout the day to let her know she’s on your mind, and how you’re looking forward to holding her at the end of the day.  You should be able to remember what turns her on – whether it’s romance or naughty suggestions. Just start early and follow through. Experiment with it.

Be Interested

This should be a gimme, but I realize that it’s not. Mainly because this goes back to social training. Women are socially trained to be much more about you men, than vice versa. Remember, society and culture have been perpetuating this whole “take care of your man” thing for quite some time. And, this often entails caring about your sports teams, your career, your aches and pains. Often, we are left hanging. This is, however, why we usually spend a lot of time talking with our girlfriends.

Anyway, my point is that it doesn’t hurt to get to know what’s important to the person you want to have sex with. It won’t kill you to watch a show she’s really into (that you secretly think is stupid – by the way, try to avoid telling her how stupid you think it is). If you have kids, and she’s home with them all day, find out what you missed. These are small little ways you can let her know that she is interesting. It cannot do anything else but bring you closer. And, the closer you are, the more likely you are to get lucky.

 

This Too Shall Pass

So I am not going to lie. There will be times, when despite your best efforts, she’s not going to be in the mood. There is such a thing as bad timing.

It could also be due to things like her period, her energy level, the way she feels about herself, being sick, etc. The important thing to remember is that if you have taken my advice, then you can rest assured it’s not about you. Something is going on with her. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to be understanding and not take it personally.  Avoid your natural urge to assume it’s a rejection of you or some kind of insult to you. If you can even get to this point, you will score immensely if you ask her what she needs. Maybe it’s space. Maybe it’s a backrub (without expectations for reciprocation). Maybe it’s being held.

If you do these things without expecting sex in return, you will have done something amazing and unexpected. The best thing about it is that (again) we remember everything. And, when we are feeling more ourselves, we will be motivated to return the favor.

In Closing

So there you have it. Sort of like gold, isn’t it? Sure, I imagine some of it wasn’t very easy to hear – but awareness is the first step towards actively getting what you want in life.